The schoolwork is burning me out, can’t even remember have I said it already or not in previous posts. Every day seems like the day before: wake up, wash teeth, eat, schoolwork and go to sleep. Haven’t had the possibility to take some time off and rest my spirit since the end of summer. Oh wait I travelled to Egypt for a week in January, but the week there wasn’t purely lay around all day and chill, lot of running around…
I feel my spirit like a busy month in the red light’s district. Fortunately, I had recently a few hours with my friends to just talk and get some few drinks. We spoke about our IT & programming topics. It was really refreshing to the stressful school-related stuff. At least I’ve got some things done with the school which is great but it still feels like my engine RPM’s are running on the max limit. Felt it a long time and like 2-3 weeks ago I booked Sundays as resting days that I don’t do anything related school stuff. Only if someone asks for some guidance.
There’s also my GTAV.ee server game-mode porting to FiveM platform project. Made a few bigger modules and changes to there, maybe going to write something about it too. Had a few hours to work on it recently, it felt so good that it gave me the general motivation to work on school things. In general look, it doesn’t look much, but those things were somewhat of a foundation to the whole project. But by doing those things I yet again learned something new related to C#. About usages of attributes and for example how to invoke function dynamically with even optional parameters of a function and about generic types.
There’s also a fishing trip with my honey, she’s into it more than I am and I’m a guy. She says because I haven’t caught a fish with a fishing-rod, but she and that the interest comes then and it feels great and I believe that. But with that fishing trip, I realized which was missing.
Tried to learn the theory of probability with that distant studying stuff is going around. And as all math-related subjects, it gives me temporarily severe depression. Feeling that I’m going to fail at life and I don’t want to exist. There’s also some other negative feeling but I can’t describe it, feels like somewhat that the whole world is pressuring onto me.
I hope the suffering ends soon… I’m so tired…