We all have compared ourselves to others multiple times but it doesn’t affect us in a good way. Mostly it makes us sad, especially nowadays with social media on our hand all the time. Countless studies have also shown us that using social media makes people compare themselves more often which result in decreasing self-esteem. Multiple links to studies can for example seen here: https://blog.allpsych.com/the-dangers-of-comparing-yourself-to-others-on-social-media/. Comparing yourself also distracts your mind from the things that need to be done in your life. Which means it deprecates your development of life. I can say this because I’ve been down this road a few years ago, but I feel multiple times better now.
I realized & felt at one point that social media is just so fake. Then again the reason why it feels like everyone’s life is so greatly bananas all the time comes from the aspect that there are so many people who share buffed up “fragments” with photo-editing from their life. Where all those “fragments” build up in your mind into one big global picture and there’s the origin point in my point of view.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m checking people’s pictures from Facebook & Instagram pretty much daily, but I don’t compare myself with them. I take their picture more like facts & 0’s or 1’s. I mean it like that if someone posts some pictures about some book he or she grabbed and says a few good words or took a picture with coffee at some random roof. Then what I saw is like “Hmm okay Kevin started reading book X” or “Cool Kelly bought coffee and is chilling on that random roof”. I don’t start to compare myself to others or turn into a jelly monster like “I want that too” or “Why I don’t have that in my life”. Because I know that their life is dull as mine before and after that picture, maybe even duller. That very picture is just a few moments of their life, it does not define their life. Most likely that image he or she posted is just so they can fill up their gap with “likes” on the internet in their soul. Also, I don’t know how others are but I have like more prioritized personal goals than some moment sitting on a roof with coffee which I need to tell every single person. If you’re trying to chill and relax on the roof and drink coffee then enjoy the moment and make most of it. Sense the smell in the air, the wind breezing or listen to the distant sounds. But when you’re just like posting every tiny detail into social media then my question is are you even living?
I remember my childhood when I was in elementary school that I got bullied a lot. Which pushed me towards computers and after some time I got called computer-geek. I didn’t care much about that because I liked what I do & learned skills which they don’t have even to this day. So watching most people now who are sitting constantly in their smart-phones are pretty much smart-phone nerds. Just another type of drug addicts, which is consumed through social media, because in the background in your tini-tiny brain the dopamine is released. You most likely can’t even really tell if it’s released because you’ve gotten used to the constant good feeling. The same substance is also released when you consume a drug called MDMA for example which is also seen to be pretty addictive to lots of people. Which leads us to those people who seek attention from there so badly are just another type of drug-addicts. So maybe get a rehab?
Now as I’m writing this and got over the comparing aspect of social media for a few years now then I can just feel myself on fire. If you’re feeling like that you want to break the mould and also get back up on your feet & kicking again like Jackie Chan then I can give some advice. This thing doesn’t change overnight. At first, it requires a lot of practice through a lot of time. You’ll still compare yourself from time to time (I even rarely do it). But it gets easier at an emotional level as you go on and the density over time lessens. As for now, I can do pretty much whatever I want more easily even if it requires a bigger push. Because my emotions are not so roller-coaster-like and in my control.
I’m in charge of my self not everyone else with their “fragments”.
Easier said that done. What I have noticed is that people who have experienced some pain (both physical and metal) and hardship in their lives seek less “magical” happiness. They have better values and more often they look what kind of pain other’s have, not how happy they are.
So go on and embrace the pain.